Happy Birthday?

Assalaam Alakium sisters!

I knew waking up this morning I would have to give my aunt a call and wish her a happy birthday. None of my family members are Muslim and birthdays are a HUGE deal for them. Both my mother and my aunt share the month of February as their "birth month" yes, the entire month is theirs. 

Come every February, they talk up their birthdays and remind us all how many days remain until the actual "day". It would be pretty hard to miss one of their birthdays by how they await this month. They usually do the same things each year and try to make something really special just for the two of them. 

Being a Muslim, it's hard for me not to think they are going way overboard with the whole thing. I try not to express this to them because I know it'll hurt their feelings so I say my simple "Happy Birthday" and send a card with a gift and leave it at that. Now, before you start saying what I'm doing is participating in the whole "birthday" thing, I want to lend some advice. 

If you are a convert and your family members are not, you still need to respect them and strengthen the family tie. In Islam, family, especially the mother, is an extremely important relationship. If you find yourself not wanting to participate in things like birthdays and such, then don't, just be as respectful to those family members who do. A birthday is a good chance for you to show your non-Muslim family member that you still care about them and wish them well. Imposing your beliefs on them, especially during a special day of theirs, is not going to come off very well. You have to remember that you are now the face of Islam to them.

I have come across a difference in opinion on "celebrating" birthdays in Islam. Some scholars say yay and some say nay. I encourage you all to do your own research and come to an intelligent conclusion. I must add though that whatever celebrating you do make it halal. I don't see the big deal if you go and have dinner with some friends on your birthday as long as what you are doing is halal. 

Side note: I know a lot of Muslims are misguided when it comes to the whole "halal" word and I intend on doing an entire post on what the word "halal" actually means. So take tuned for that. =)

So go have a piece of cake, just make it halal marshmallows in the fondant!  

Have a wonderful rest of your day. I'm off to work then the KnewU class tonight. InshAllah a recap of the class will be up tomorrow. 

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

A few links to check out on the whole birthday thang:

http://chillyoislamyo.com/is-it-haraam-to-celebrate-birthdays/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF5i-6eMxMU

A Dear Memory

Assalaam Alakium sisters!

Just a little random butterfly love =)

InshAllah your Sunday has been a blessed one! It's been pretty chill over here. The Writer is watching basketball while I'm listening to the Purpose of Life presented by Khalid Yasin. I'm going to be sending it to my mother inshAllah. Which brings me to the purpose of this blog. I'll always have a fond memory of Khalid Yasin.

In the winter of 2007 I began really learning about Islam. I had just started reading the Qur'an and understanding Islam. I had a tremendous amount of respect for Islam and was deeply considering converting. I was invited by some of my Muslim friends to attend an Islamic lecture. I was nervous thinking I wouldn't "fit in" or that I needed to "look" a certain way. I assumed I would be looked down upon if I didn't cover my hair. 

Despite all of my reservations, I went, as I was. As we walked into the room where the lecture was going to take place, I was flooded with smiles and hugs from sisters. They were all so welcoming to me and kindly asked me about myself. It was really a overwhelming feeling for me, you see, I never felt that way before. I felt like I belonged even though I had tight jeans and my hair showing. Despite all of that, they welcomed me.  

As the lecture began, I seen this African American brother walk up to the front. I immediately felt the respect the audience gave him. At the time, I had no idea who he was even though I'm sure I had watched a few of his videos on YouTube. Throughout the lecture/talk he never made me seem inferior. And I say this because I was sitting up front, not wearing the hijab and was clearly a non Muslim. He was presenting his idea for a television network and talked a little about the purpose of life.

At the end, he asked if anyone wanted to accept Islam. My friends who brought me asked me if I wanted to take my shahada at this time but I wasn't quite ready. I knew that Islam was the truth but I was overwhelmed by the amount of people in the room. I was scared that I'd mess up the Arabic and look like a fool. I let my insecurities get the best of me that night, nonetheless I was still respected and welcomed. 

Even though I didn't take my shahada that night, I still remember how I felt. I always look to that night when I run across Muslims who aren't very welcoming. The group of sisters at the event were amazing. May Allah bless them all. Ameen. Whenever I watch or listen to a lecture by Khalid Yasin I remember that night. 

I recommend that you all listen or watch the Purpose of Life. Give it to your family members, Muslim or not. This is beneficial to all of us. We can never remember Allah too much. 

Have any of you listened to this lecture? If so, would you give this to a non Muslim?

Have a great night!

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

Got love for the hijab

Assalaam Alakium girlies!

How's your Sunday been? InshAllah it's been as lazy as mine, the Writer and I just got done watching Horrible Bosses. It was a pretty hilarious movie but it has a lot of profanity so if you're not into that I don't recommend it. It's definitely not a family movie. 

I have some chicken parmesan in the oven and I'm going to make some fettuccine alfredo while we watch Bridesmaids. Any one watch this movie? It's been nominated for a bunch of Golden Globes I think and I've heard good things about it. I'll let you know what I think about it later. =)

I prefer watching movies in the comfort of my own home. Don't get me wrong, I like to hit up the movie theater from time to time but definitely like lounging at home. I get to wear pj's and have my own snacks, over priced movie snacks = suck! It's all about comfort for me. That brings me to the hijab...

I remember when I received my first hijab it was a gift from my then future mother in law. It was one of those two piece Al-Amirah ones, brown in color. I have to admit, when I got it, I didn't want to wear it. I was totally new to the hijab, I wasn't even thinking about wearing it at that time. I just wanted a few to wear to the Mosque. Needless to say, I never wore it until way after I became a hijabi. It's my staple working out hijab now. =)

Almost six months after I became Muslim I decided to buy some hijabs online. I would also find these websites that were selling beautiful hijabs and finally decided to buy some, with the sole intention on just wearing them to the Mosque. When they arrived I immediately tried them on and thought to myself why don't you just wear one outside to the grocery store as a "practice run". So I hurried onto YouTube and found a basic hijab wrap tutorial and tried my best. Let's just say I was wearing about 5 pins with just one scarf. lol I wore it out that day just to the library, store and a few quick trips. I felt like everybody was watching me but it didn't seem that bad. So I began wearing it full time from that day on. It was a total surprise to my family, friends and even more so, myself. Like I said, when I purchased the hijabs I had no intention on wearing them other than to the Mosque. It just seemed right at that time to continue wearing it. 

A week into wearing the hijab, still had about 4 pins in! lol

It took me six months of not even thinking about the hijab to just one day picking it up and wearing it from that day on. It can be that simple for some sisters, others not so much. I really look up to those sisters, especially converts, who start wearing the hijab the second they say their shahada (declaration of faith). Others, like myself, need more time. I encourage all Muslimah's to wear the hijab but I think it's very important to give them some time, especially converts. 

Last winter, more experimental now! =)

InshAllah I'll be posting up some tips on beginning to wear the hijab, telling your family and dealing with criticism. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

Changes

Assalaam Alakium! 

Good morning! Happy Wednesday! We're officially halfway through the week! This morning I'm at Barnes and Noble...again. Having one car is a challenge for sure but I know it's a test and I just need to be patient. For this mornings post I wanted to discuss changes. Dun...dun...dun I don't think anyone likes changes. 

Change can definitely be a good thing but the fear of the unknown can sometimes prevent us from taking the first few steps into the direction of change. Coming into Islam is a huge life change and can be quite the adjustment. As I've mentioned before everyone is different and we all come from different backgrounds, cultures and experiences. These life experiences make us who we are today. Imagine living 20-30 years of your life being someone than converting to Islam and having to change all of that around okay, maybe not everything. But nonetheless, it's a tough thing to do. 

For example, before I converted to Islam music was. my life. I lived music, all day I listened to music, wanted to become a successful performer (vocalist) and hit it big in the music world. When I converted to Islam I began learning that music was undesirable and should be avoided due to the content of it. The first time I heard music was looked down upon in Islam was through a YouTube video. A part of me was crushed, I felt like I couldn't be my true self, like I had to become someone completely different. At first I resisted this change and would make excuses for listening to it. I then dug deeper into the subject and found more information and took a drastic change, I completely stopped listening to music. Cold turkey. I deleted almost all of the music on my computer and stopped listening to music in the car. A few months later, I broke down and started gradually listening to music again. It was so hard to change my thoughts on music. It's been a roller-coaster ride since but I know I need to take things slowly from now on. Completely ridding my life of music at once was not the best idea. I should have started out by getting rid of the most offensive music first and going from there. I'm still in the process and I trip up sometimes. Baby steps. 

When making a huge change in your life, especially in an area of your life you are very passionate about, start off small. There is no need to rush into a huge change. As long as you're intentions are right Allah will understand. No matter if we know it or not, we are changing everybody, inshAllah for the better, we just need to be open to the change and believe that Allah will get us through it. 

Here are a few tips on change:

1. Slow down. As I stated above, start with baby steps. Don't rush into a big change this will only make you uncomfortable and may be detrimental in the long run. 

2. Be willing to change. In order to change, you must come to terms with it. Don't just change something unwillingly. 

3. Reflect. Think about how this change will make you a better person. Try to picture your life in the future with this change. 

4. Support. Seek out support in friends and family. Find people who will respect your need to change and understand why you want this change in your life. 

5. Be positive. Use empowering words such as "I CAN do this, I WILL do this, This IS doable, I WILL be a better person after this" 

"If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living."Gail Sheehy

Please share in the comments any tips you have for making a change. 

Feel fee to share a experience you've had with change and what worked for you. 

Also, in the comments, leave your suggestions and recommendations. 

Have a great morning, 

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

Giving Dawah to Family

Assalaam Alakium! 

My mother, brother and I

This morning I got up and called my lovely aunt Phyllis. She's coming to visit me in a month! I love my family, but there are some challenges being the only Muslim. My family is Catholic, by name only, meaning they don't practice at all (other than my grandmother). Because of their "religion is put on the back burner" views, its been hard talking to them about Islam.

A big obstacle for me is, getting past their ideas about Islam. Most of my family are really confused and tend to think Islam is a cultural thing and not a religion. Also, I can't really relate Islam to Catholicism because they don't know much about their own religion. It's tough for sure, but I'd like to give some tips for you all in dealing with family while trying to give dawah. 

1. Be kind to them in all situations. You are now the face of Islam to your family, so be an example of kindness and patience. Read the biography of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) for examples. 

2. Be patient, especially if they are harsh in the beginning. Try not to let the little things they say  hurt your feelings. They are going through a tough transition as well so give them some time.

3. Talk about Islam in a way they can relate to, which is different for each family. If your family is like mine, try giving them little doses of Islam at a time. Don't overload them with technical jargon they won't recognize. If your family is religious try to give some similarities between their religion and Islam.

4. Stay away from confrontation. Don't belittle them for their choice of religion. Respect their beliefs as you would want them to do the same. 

5. When talking about what you belief state your belief in that manner. For example, "I believe that Jesus was a great prophet and as a Muslim I respect and believe in Jesus." Start off with "I believe" so as not to come off like you are telling them something they should believe as well. Stay away from "Jesus isn't God, he's just a prophet." This may upset them because of the way you word it.

6. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes it's best to let your actions speak for you. Your family will definitely see some changes in you and will notice how you've changed for the better inshAllah. This will give your family some idea of how Muslims carry themselves. 

7. Don't give up. Know that Allah has a plan for each of us and that it is simply our job to deliver the message. Allah brings people to Islam, we just deliver His message.

8. Give them lectures that aren't explicitly biased towards Islam. Lectures like the Purpose of Life by Khalid Yasin. This lecture deals with questions everyone asks themselves, not just Muslims. I plan on giving this lecture to my mother, who often listens to music on her long drive into work. When you do give them things like this, don't pressure them to watch, read or listen to it right away. Give them time. It may take weeks, months or years. InshAllah when they finally pick it up, they'll come to you with questions. 

It's every Muslims duty to give dawah, but dawah isn't just talk. It's actions as well. Simply wearing the hijab is dawah. When giving dawah to your family keep in mind that you are just giving them the message. Whether they convert or not is not up to you, so don't be hard on yourself if it seems like you aren't getting through to them. Make du'a (supplication) that Allah will guide them to the straight path. 

If you have any other tips, examples or experiences you'd like to share please leave it in the comments. We can all learn from one another. 

May Allah reward you all and make your dawah efforts easy. Ameen

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

"Why did you become Muslim, sister?"

I get asked this question A LOT, in fact more than anything else. People want to know what drew me to Islam and to eventually become a Muslim. I remember being thrilled whenever someone asked me because I loved telling my story however, as the years have gone by I wonder if this is the only thing that matters to some people.

I understand the need to know "why", I ask "why" questions frequently. So much so, some people get irritated that I just can't take things at "face value". It's in my nature to know the why behind things so I totally understand this question. I also want to get it out there that as a convert, I don't want to be "just a story". I'm more than just my journey to Islam. There are so many reasons I chose this way of life but there are so many different layers as to what makes me......me. Get it?

Maybe someday I'll post an in-depth story, but for now I'd like to just write about my experiences as a non Muslim, new Muslim and Muslim of almost four years. I've evolved over the past five years and want to share it with you all. I think my experiences will be of more benefit than just my story and can help people who are in the those three stages I spoke of.

Converts need more than just a "Salaam, how are you?" approach. Converts need to know they have someone to talk to and can understand what they are going through. As a new convert, I was comforted with so many changes and it took me awhile to adapt certain things, like the hijab. Not all converts are the same, just like anyone else. Some converts start wearing the hijab as soon as they convert, maybe even before while others pray before they have converted.

My advice for those of you who were raised as Muslims, please be patient with us converts especially in our early days. Knowledge isn't learned overnight. It's important to think about what you are going to say before you say it and to always give your sisters in Islam the benefit of the doubt.

That's just a little insight from me, I need to get to bed soon. Huge headache... :(

I'll be back in the morning inshAllah

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

KnewU: Week One Recap

Assalaam Alakium!

Welcome home. This was the title of the first week of the New Muslim class KnewBorn. This is a summary of what was discussed, feel free to share this with others, especially new Muslims you know. Also, you can watch the session LIVE next Thursday at 7:00 pm central time at: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/andalucialive

What is meant by "Welcome Home"? It means that as a convert you have returned to your initial state or fitrah in Arabic. Initial state in terms of the belief in a divine being (Creator) and your character meaning the feelings of guilt we all feel when we commit bad deeds. Here are a few wonderful examples of this meaning from the Qur'an:

"If they embark on a ship, and the ship gets into trouble, they call upon Allah, being sincerely obedient to Him; but when He brings them safely to land, they start committing shirk (giving credit for their safe arrival to others); so that they may become ungrateful for the blessing that We have bestowed on them and enjoy the life of this world! They will soon come to know the result of this behavior." (Al'Anakabut 29: 65)

How many of us have been through a traumatic event, like a car accident? The first person we call out for while in danger is God. This isn't unique, everyone does this. Why? Because as humans we know we are not free from danger and that no one can protect us like God can. 

"Whenever any adversity strikes you at sea, all those to whom you pray besides Him forske you except He; yet when He brings you safe to land, you turn your backs upon Him. Indeed, man is ever ungrateful." (Al-Isra 17: 67)

Meaning of Islam

If you were asked by someone who wasn't Muslim, what Islam means, what would you say? A lot of people would say Islam means peace, that is not entirely true. The meaning of Islam has two definitions a linguistic (how people perceive it from language) meaning and divine meaning (stated in a divine source, Qur'an). 

The linguistic meaning of Islam is:

"The state of submission and surrender for means of safety and soundness:

The divine meaning:

"Submission and surrender exclusively to the Creator of the heavens and the earth for means of peace and salvation."

Submit + Surrender = Peace

What does it mean to submit and surrender? As humans, we have the freewill to choose what we do, like what religion we choose to follow. To submit means that you leave the judgment to God and to surrender means you follow what God says no matter if you know the "why" behind it or not. Through these means of submitting and surrendering do we attain peace. 

"Are they looking for a religion other than the Deen (religion and Way of Life) of Allah knowing well that everything in the heavens and the earth, willingly or unwillingly, has submitted to Him? And to Him they shall all return." (A'lay Imran 3: 83)

Photo of the KnewU class

Test of a Lifetime

When someone accepts Islam, it can be hard to interact with family, friends and society. People may look down upon you. This is a test of a lifetime for the new Muslim. 

Family members may consider you an outcast (black sheep), disown you or belittle you by saying you are just "going through a phase". These types of things can really hurt the new Muslim, but we must maintain our Islamic identity and respect our family members, especially our parents. As a new Muslim, you are the "face" of Islam to them so you must continue to be kind to them. InshAllah things will get better with time and patience. 

Friends may consider you weird for the things you are doing, wearing or saying now. Converts often lose friends when they start practicing Islam because your friends may see you as a completely different person. If they are a true friend they will respect your beliefs, if not, you have to make a decision if this person is worth hanging around with.  When making friends keep this hadith (saying of the Prophet peace be upon him) in mind:

"The person is on the path of his friend, so look closely at whom you befriend."

The Muslim community may look at you strangely possibly because of the way you look. The new Muslim may not feel the brotherhood/sisterhood because of this. New Muslims must keep in mind that YOU have a right to the Masjid and to be a Muslim. Don't let others stir you away. 

When talking about Islam to others, make sure to mention to them that they must separate the doer from the doctrine. 

That is all for this weeks session. InshAllah I'll be back next week for a recap of session number two. 

Please let me know what you think and any suggestions you have. Remember you can watch the session LIVE at the address above. I ask that any of you who know a convert or someone looking for information on Islam to direct them to this post. May Allah reward you all. 

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

Special thinks to the instructor of the class, Abdullah Oduro a Islamic University of Medina graduate and convert of 14 years. May Allah reward him.