Happy Birthday?

Assalaam Alakium sisters!

I knew waking up this morning I would have to give my aunt a call and wish her a happy birthday. None of my family members are Muslim and birthdays are a HUGE deal for them. Both my mother and my aunt share the month of February as their "birth month" yes, the entire month is theirs. 

Come every February, they talk up their birthdays and remind us all how many days remain until the actual "day". It would be pretty hard to miss one of their birthdays by how they await this month. They usually do the same things each year and try to make something really special just for the two of them. 

Being a Muslim, it's hard for me not to think they are going way overboard with the whole thing. I try not to express this to them because I know it'll hurt their feelings so I say my simple "Happy Birthday" and send a card with a gift and leave it at that. Now, before you start saying what I'm doing is participating in the whole "birthday" thing, I want to lend some advice. 

If you are a convert and your family members are not, you still need to respect them and strengthen the family tie. In Islam, family, especially the mother, is an extremely important relationship. If you find yourself not wanting to participate in things like birthdays and such, then don't, just be as respectful to those family members who do. A birthday is a good chance for you to show your non-Muslim family member that you still care about them and wish them well. Imposing your beliefs on them, especially during a special day of theirs, is not going to come off very well. You have to remember that you are now the face of Islam to them.

I have come across a difference in opinion on "celebrating" birthdays in Islam. Some scholars say yay and some say nay. I encourage you all to do your own research and come to an intelligent conclusion. I must add though that whatever celebrating you do make it halal. I don't see the big deal if you go and have dinner with some friends on your birthday as long as what you are doing is halal. 

Side note: I know a lot of Muslims are misguided when it comes to the whole "halal" word and I intend on doing an entire post on what the word "halal" actually means. So take tuned for that. =)

So go have a piece of cake, just make it halal marshmallows in the fondant!  

Have a wonderful rest of your day. I'm off to work then the KnewU class tonight. InshAllah a recap of the class will be up tomorrow. 

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

A few links to check out on the whole birthday thang:

http://chillyoislamyo.com/is-it-haraam-to-celebrate-birthdays/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF5i-6eMxMU

A Dear Memory

Assalaam Alakium sisters!

Just a little random butterfly love =)

InshAllah your Sunday has been a blessed one! It's been pretty chill over here. The Writer is watching basketball while I'm listening to the Purpose of Life presented by Khalid Yasin. I'm going to be sending it to my mother inshAllah. Which brings me to the purpose of this blog. I'll always have a fond memory of Khalid Yasin.

In the winter of 2007 I began really learning about Islam. I had just started reading the Qur'an and understanding Islam. I had a tremendous amount of respect for Islam and was deeply considering converting. I was invited by some of my Muslim friends to attend an Islamic lecture. I was nervous thinking I wouldn't "fit in" or that I needed to "look" a certain way. I assumed I would be looked down upon if I didn't cover my hair. 

Despite all of my reservations, I went, as I was. As we walked into the room where the lecture was going to take place, I was flooded with smiles and hugs from sisters. They were all so welcoming to me and kindly asked me about myself. It was really a overwhelming feeling for me, you see, I never felt that way before. I felt like I belonged even though I had tight jeans and my hair showing. Despite all of that, they welcomed me.  

As the lecture began, I seen this African American brother walk up to the front. I immediately felt the respect the audience gave him. At the time, I had no idea who he was even though I'm sure I had watched a few of his videos on YouTube. Throughout the lecture/talk he never made me seem inferior. And I say this because I was sitting up front, not wearing the hijab and was clearly a non Muslim. He was presenting his idea for a television network and talked a little about the purpose of life.

At the end, he asked if anyone wanted to accept Islam. My friends who brought me asked me if I wanted to take my shahada at this time but I wasn't quite ready. I knew that Islam was the truth but I was overwhelmed by the amount of people in the room. I was scared that I'd mess up the Arabic and look like a fool. I let my insecurities get the best of me that night, nonetheless I was still respected and welcomed. 

Even though I didn't take my shahada that night, I still remember how I felt. I always look to that night when I run across Muslims who aren't very welcoming. The group of sisters at the event were amazing. May Allah bless them all. Ameen. Whenever I watch or listen to a lecture by Khalid Yasin I remember that night. 

I recommend that you all listen or watch the Purpose of Life. Give it to your family members, Muslim or not. This is beneficial to all of us. We can never remember Allah too much. 

Have any of you listened to this lecture? If so, would you give this to a non Muslim?

Have a great night!

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

Yay for Saturday!

Assalaam Alakium ladies!

Happy Saturday! The Writer actually has the day off so we get two free days! This rarely ever happens so we're going to try to make the best of it. Maybe we'll hit up the mall in a few since it's rainy outside. Alhamdulliah for the rain, we've needed it here in Houston. We had like a year long drought here so this rain is a good thing. =)

Last night I made the staple dinner around here, tilapia, brown rice and veggies. I was going to mix it up by making tilapia tacos but had a headache so just rolled with something easy. After dinner we just lounged around  until I passed out around 10. Migraines are no joke. 

Today is our family day so we're going to head off to visit the family. Layla time! She's the most adorable kid around. It's nice coming into a family bigger than my own. I only have one brother who is younger than me and he didn't live with us for awhile so for a long time I was kind of the "only child". I always wanted a sister and now I have two! 

Yup, she's the coolest!

I think having siblings, especially who are your gender and close in age keeps you grounded and out of trouble. Since I only had one sibling who was gone for awhile I gravated towards my friends. I spent every waking moment with them, and would often times only come home if I had to. My friends and I got into trouble and did things we shouldn't have. InshAllah if the Writer and I are ever blessed with children I would want siblings for my them. We'll see what Allah has in store for us. =)

What is your take on family? Do you want a large or small family?

Did you grow up in a large family? If so, how do you think it shaped you as a person?

Have a great Saturday!

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~

Giving Dawah to Family

Assalaam Alakium! 

My mother, brother and I

This morning I got up and called my lovely aunt Phyllis. She's coming to visit me in a month! I love my family, but there are some challenges being the only Muslim. My family is Catholic, by name only, meaning they don't practice at all (other than my grandmother). Because of their "religion is put on the back burner" views, its been hard talking to them about Islam.

A big obstacle for me is, getting past their ideas about Islam. Most of my family are really confused and tend to think Islam is a cultural thing and not a religion. Also, I can't really relate Islam to Catholicism because they don't know much about their own religion. It's tough for sure, but I'd like to give some tips for you all in dealing with family while trying to give dawah. 

1. Be kind to them in all situations. You are now the face of Islam to your family, so be an example of kindness and patience. Read the biography of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) for examples. 

2. Be patient, especially if they are harsh in the beginning. Try not to let the little things they say  hurt your feelings. They are going through a tough transition as well so give them some time.

3. Talk about Islam in a way they can relate to, which is different for each family. If your family is like mine, try giving them little doses of Islam at a time. Don't overload them with technical jargon they won't recognize. If your family is religious try to give some similarities between their religion and Islam.

4. Stay away from confrontation. Don't belittle them for their choice of religion. Respect their beliefs as you would want them to do the same. 

5. When talking about what you belief state your belief in that manner. For example, "I believe that Jesus was a great prophet and as a Muslim I respect and believe in Jesus." Start off with "I believe" so as not to come off like you are telling them something they should believe as well. Stay away from "Jesus isn't God, he's just a prophet." This may upset them because of the way you word it.

6. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes it's best to let your actions speak for you. Your family will definitely see some changes in you and will notice how you've changed for the better inshAllah. This will give your family some idea of how Muslims carry themselves. 

7. Don't give up. Know that Allah has a plan for each of us and that it is simply our job to deliver the message. Allah brings people to Islam, we just deliver His message.

8. Give them lectures that aren't explicitly biased towards Islam. Lectures like the Purpose of Life by Khalid Yasin. This lecture deals with questions everyone asks themselves, not just Muslims. I plan on giving this lecture to my mother, who often listens to music on her long drive into work. When you do give them things like this, don't pressure them to watch, read or listen to it right away. Give them time. It may take weeks, months or years. InshAllah when they finally pick it up, they'll come to you with questions. 

It's every Muslims duty to give dawah, but dawah isn't just talk. It's actions as well. Simply wearing the hijab is dawah. When giving dawah to your family keep in mind that you are just giving them the message. Whether they convert or not is not up to you, so don't be hard on yourself if it seems like you aren't getting through to them. Make du'a (supplication) that Allah will guide them to the straight path. 

If you have any other tips, examples or experiences you'd like to share please leave it in the comments. We can all learn from one another. 

May Allah reward you all and make your dawah efforts easy. Ameen

Wasalaam,

~Hijabi Butterfly~